Finding True Love

Love- a most common theme in romance movies and drama, and a vital element of our lives. The love discussed here mainly refers to passionate love between couples. It's the infatuation that have you thinking about the one you love, that made every word he or she says matters so much to you, that made your entire world suddenly seem more exciting and purposeful. Yes, it's a bit cliche but it's true when you fall in love.

Love can truly change a person and his/her life drastically, for the better or worse. For love is such a powerful emotion that affect us so greatly, it is most insightful and fruitful perhaps that we spend some time to ask the question of 'Is love reliable?'



A Honest Look At Love

In life, we would have at least fallen in love once, if not several times. When we felt a crush for someone at school, a celebrity on TV or anyone around us. Naturally, we wish to be with that person whom we love.

Indeed, love can be the greatest feeling in life, to be loved by the person we love. Love sets motivation and purpose in our lives, and for that someone, we are even willing to compromise our own joy to see him/her happy. But sadly, not all of us can be with the one we love, no matter how much that person means to us, we might mean the least to them.

True indeed that we have to fight to get what we want, but of all things, love can be a drastic exception. The simple reason is love and attraction is natural, and cannot be forced. To stubbornly oppose this truth, one could exert great misery upon both parties.

However, not all sadness comes from the situation of a one sided love. There are many who go into a relationship only to realize that the path of love is not as happy as they expected. The once passionate and flaring emotion for our beloved begins to wane overtime. That explains the high numbers of broken relationship resulting in break ups or divorces.



Is Love Superficial Or Noble?

In many cases, love is very often based on superficial appearance. People love people with good looks, although beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, it is still the truth that one loves the person who he/she defines as beautiful or appealing.

When we rely on abstractions like this, in this case, one's exterior beauty, there can be no stability. Who's to ensure that he/she would always be as ravishing as the state of her which you fell in love with?

Perhaps that is why dating is the best stage of love, when everything about that someone you love is so new and mysterious. There are simply too many things to share with him/her. But this suspense of love eventually runs out with time, and the initial cause of attraction grows thin. Pretty much like how the colors of one's youth drying with time, love is not too far an example. Worse still, when you start to discover shortcomings and negative personality traits of him/her you never realize before.



How Much Do I Love My Beloved?

Love is selfish, a rather common match of two contradicting words, or maybe not. Regardless of the great reluctance to agree with this statement, there's little choice but to accept this fact. No matter how unconditional we think love can be, it is still within the condition set by our ego's ideals. Because of our ego, we stick to our own opinions and perspectives, and leads to arguments and misunderstanding in life.


Love is no different, and should I say more intense in this aspect, for we expect our beloved, more than anyone, to understand us, to agree with us. And when they do something that contradicts us, it hurts our ego, and we feel angry and annoyed. This anger, if not handled carefully, drives us to conduct hurtful actions to our beloved without much hesitation or question, much like the initial spark of love that started all this.


All this comes down to the fact that 'I love myself the most.' Yes. The moment of truth, an invisible notion that runs deep in our mind long before you found that someone you love. Before love, self already exists. Our beloved's attraction and grace are merely sensual indulgence that fulfills the self's conditions, but that is not the true person we fell in love with, for beyond this selfish indulgence, is another mind with his/her unique feelings and emotions, and just like you, he/she has an ego and ideals too.



How To Make A Relationship Last?

Do note however that there is no rigid right or wrong with falling in love through superficial means, but that should not be the main source of reliance to stay the love and relationship in the long run. Instead, love her by who she is, by her intentions. Touch your beloved with forgiveness and understanding. Many times, the constant enemy in love is our self indulgence, causing us to speak more than listen, to influence more than to learn. Love is a great prize of happiness, and it is enjoyed through constant foregoing of your ego and pride. If a person cannot do this for anyone, then he/she would be happy with no one.

*The frustration caused by ego/pride is like our own shadow, it follows us to whenever we go, to whoever we are with.*