The Four Wives

I have originally intended for this post to be 'Who Am I Really?', but i decided to leave that post for later as it is to be a more detailed post about our true existences and a hidden truth of the mind that you might not have heard about.

But before I move onto that post, I will post a famous short story known as The Four Wives, to succeed my previous post of The Four People and as a founding step to the upcoming post 'Who Am I Really?'

Every man and woman has four wives or husbands. What do these wives or husbands signify?

-Buddha-

Relating to the statement above, the Buddha once told a story to his disciples.

Once there was a man who had four wives.
(According to the social system and circumstances of ancient India, it was possible for a man to have several wives. Also, during the Heian period in Japan, about a thousand years ago, it was not unusual for a woman to have several husbands)

The Indian had become ill and was about to die. At the end of his life, he felt very lonely and so asked the first wife to accompany him to the other world.

'My dear wife,' he said, 'I loved you day and night, I took care of you throughout my whole life. Now I am about to die, will you please go with me wherever I go after my death?'

He expected her to answer yes. But she answered, 'My dear husband, I know you always loved me. And you are going to die. Now it is time to separate from you. Goodbye, my dear.'

He called his second wife to his sickbed and begged her to follow him in death.
He said, 'My dear second wife, you know how I loved you. Sometimes I was afraid you might leave me, but I held on to you strongly. My dear, please come with me.'

The second wife expressed herself rather coldly. 'Dear husband, your first wife refused to accompany you after your death. How can I follow you? You loved me only for your own selfish sake.'

Lying in his deathbed, he called his third wife, and asked her to follow him.
The third wife replied, with tears in her eyes, 'My dear, I pity you and I feel sad for myself. Therefore I shall accompany you to the graveyard. This is my last duty to you.'
The third wife thus also refused to follow him to death.

Three wives had refused to follow him after his death.

Now he recalled that there was another wife, his fourth wife, for whom he didn't care very much. He had treated her like a slave and had always showed much displeasure with her.
He now thought that if he asked her to follow him to death, she certainly would say no.

But his loneliness and fear were so severe that he made the effort to ask her to accompany him to the other world.

The fourth wife gladly accepted her husband's request.
'My dear husband,' she said, 'I will go with you. Whatever happens, I am determined to be with you forever. I cannot be separated from you."


Meaning Behind The Four Wives.

The First Wife is our body.
We love our body day and night. In the morning, we wash our face, put on clothing and shoes. We give food to our body. We take care of our body like the first wife in this story.
But unfortunately, at the end of our life, the body, the first wife cannot follow us to the next world.
As it is stated in a commentary,
'When the last breath leaves our body, the healthy color of the face is transformed, and we lose the appearance of radiant life. Our loved ones may gather around and lament, but to no avail. When such an event occurs, the body is sent into an open field and cremated, leaving only the white ashes.'
This is the destination of our body.

The Second Wife stands for our fortune, our material things, money, property, fame, position, and job that we worked hard to attain.
We are attached to these material possessions. We are afraid to lose these material things and wish to possess much more.
There is no limit.
At the end of our life these things cannot follow us to death. Whatever fortune we have piled up, we must leave it. We came into this world with empty hands.
During our life in this world, we have the illusion that we obtained a fortune.
At death, our hands are empty. We can't hold our fortune after our death, just as the second wife told her husband: 'You hold me with your ego-centered selfishness. Now it is time to say goodbye.'

The Third Wife refers to the relationship of our parents, sister and brother, all relatives, friends, and/or society.
They will go as far as the graveyard, with tears in their eyes. They are sympathetic and saddened...
Thus, we cannot depend on our physical body, our fortune, and our society.
We are born alone and we die alone. No one will accompany us after our death.

The Fourth Wife is our mind.
In life, we deeply trouble our mind with trifles of jealousy, lust, anger, social recognition and many other fleeting needs. Happy over these trifles for a moment or days, we are constantly troubled by them over the spread of years and decades.
When we deeply observe and recognize that our minds are filled with anger, greed, and dissatisfaction, we are having a good look at our lives.
The anger, greed, and dissatisfaction are karma, the law of causation. We cannot be separated from our own karma.
As the fourth wife told her dying husband, 'I will follow you wherever you go.'


Regardless of the belief of whether there is an afterlife or not, the fourth wife, as refered to our mind, still holds the same meaning to us all, for the mind is closest to us, following us every instance of everyday.

The Four People

*Those who are more critical of themselves than of others, will be less disliked by others*

- Confucius -

Today, all the people living in this modern world have something to pursue in life, something they wish to find or accomplish to make their lives better or happier. But reality as we all know it, is wrought with difficulties and differences. Some are clever, some are dumb, some are good talkers, some are good listeners, some are fast learners, some are just not in league, some have multi talents, some almost have none, some are good looking, some are bad looking, some are rich, some are poor.

Amidst these states of inequality and changes, what is there to be eternally happy about? This very question was once asked by The Four People.

Who are the Four People?

The Four People depicts the four main types of people in this world.


Long ago, not so different as today, unhappiness and inequality plagued the everyday lives of man. The rich dwelled in their palaces of luxuries, feeding off the labour of the poor. The poor, unhappy about their lives, strived for ways to steal and cheat from one another. The clever abusing their intellect, deceived the dumb. Driven to extremes, the poor and powerless cursed the world and all the people living in this unfair realm, forming resentful clans with those who suffered the same fate, resorting to violence and killing to vent their hate on the corrupted and deceitful.

Amidst this turmoil, there lived four men, who felt unpleased with the unrest in their lives and so each left their homes, wandering to seek an answer to whether there is a constant happiness in this world that will never fail them. Among them, two of them were scholars and thus were more versed in speech and knowledge than the other two.

One day, these four men met one another and after a long discussion, decided to set out in separate directions to seek the true happiness they sought, if it existed at all.

The first to the North, second to the South, third to the East, and fourth to the West. Before departing, they promised to return to that same place in three years' time to share with one another what they found.

With that, each of them headed out in their own directions.

Soon, three years passed, the first man returned from the north, followed by the second man from the south.

In a fit of disappointment and rage, the first man poured his complaints of how rude, ignorant, and selfish the people of the North are, caring only about their own matters of survival. These three years there have been a torment to him facing those people. He declared it was a waste of his time to understand anything from those people, and that the key to happiness could never lie there.

The second man, who was more versed in knowledge, stated how shocked he was at the ignorance and stupidity of the South people like the first man. However, his stay was more enjoyable as his vast knowledge and wits soon became widely known and respected by the clever and rich. Despite this, many officials became jealous of his fame and knowledge, and as he spent most time with the knowledgeable, the poor and ignorant were distant from him. Alas he left that place, knowing that the key to happiness could not lie there either.

Some days later, the third man returned from the East with a group of people. With a pleased smile, he told the two men about how wonderful the South was. Due to his limited knowledge and wits, he felt inferior talking to the officials.

As a result, he spent most time in the company of the poor and slow witted over the years, whom many became his friends. Despite the new company he acquired, he still yearned for great knowledge and the day he would be respected by the clever. With subtle sadness, he told he has not found complete happiness there either.


So they waited for the last man to return from the West. Days passed, yet he did not return.

Thus the three men set out for the West to gather the whereabouts of the fourth.

The land of the West were not much different from the other lands, with poor and worn down houses, the streets flooded with the poor and haggard. What was different was the people there were mostly happy and polite, be it the rich or the poor, the powerful or the helpless.

They traveled far, asking the people there about the whereabouts of a traveler but they all replied there has been no wanderers in their land for many years, only local residents lived there. While passing by a row of shabby houses, the three men heard a quite familiar voice from nearby.

Finally they found the fourth men dressed as a commoner inside one of the houses, accompanied by officials, nobles and even slaves. When the three men asked the fourth man the reason why he did not return. He replied that he has found his happiness and home, and it was there among the rich, the poor, the clever, the dumb, the beautiful and the ugly.

Puzzled, the second man, who shared equal amount of knowledge and wits as him, asked how he managed to earn the hospitality of all so many which he failed to.

What did the fourth man do or have that he didn't?

Hearing his question, the fourth man answered, 'When there is someone who needs my knowledge, I share and tell. When there is someone who counters or doubts my knowledge, I stop and listen. When there is someone who can't absorb my knowledge, I understand and accept.'

Only then the other three men realized that the key to the constant happiness they seek did not lie in the North, South, East or the West, but in the way they see the world and others, in the way they think, live and treat others. That key had lie with them all along, but they could not see it, as their pride, arrogance and prejudice were standing in their own way.

These four men told in the story above are The Four People.

Meaning behind The Four People

All people in this world mainly belonged to one of The Four People mentioned in the story above.

The First Man refers to those who are easy judgers and enjoys criticizing others and noticing the wrongs of others. These people are proud of themselves and think they are the smartest and most capable even though they are in fact not. Thus they are always unsatisfied with others and the world.

The Second Man refers to those who are similar to the first type, except that they possess genuine talents and knowledge which is useful to others. However, their talent and accomplishments make them proud and self fulfiled, and they easily criticize those lower than them, emphasizing on their weaknesses rather than strengths while admiring those on the same or higher level than themselves.

The Third Man refers to those who, despite their lack of knowledge and talent, is kind and understanding to others, specially those on the similar level of knowledge. These people are self critical, seeing their own faults first on top of others. However, a part of them sometimes yearn to be highly admired and looked upon, to become someone great. This arise inconfidence and the feeling of inferiority in their deepest hearts.

The Fourth Man refers to those who possess genuine talents and knowledge but see themselves as one soul and qualtiy with all the people. These people are the rarest of the four types. They are truly patient, modest and understanding towards those weaker than them in capabilities, seeing everyone as a capable teacher who has something to teach and to be learnt from. Even in times when they are misunderstood or criticized, they don't seek to prove themselves but focus on what they can do to benefit others. Thus these kind of people are not easily noticeable in our daily lives, but once they are noticed, lasting loyalty and friendship follow them, as others realize they are the true teachers in life.



From this story, one can learn how important compassion and humility is in life, as the catalyst and binder of healthy relationships with others as well as the door to the stable happiness which can only be realized through a compassionate and humble heart and mind.

Lusting Effects

Story about lust

There once lived a man among a group of cultivators who practiced healthy living and mind purification. Despite his status as a cultivator, he was often distracted as his interest fell on a female cultivator in his group. No matter what he did, he could not shake her off his mind. Thus, he constantly sent her secret love letters praising her beauty, declaring his strong and immovable feelings for her, and stating that he is willing to do anything to win her love.

Then one day, the female cultivator wrote back to the man, saying that she will accept his love if he could confessed openly to her on the coming day. The man was overjoyed and looked forward to the next day to express his love for her.

During the next morning's assembly, after the master addressed the fellow cultivators for questions, she stood up with the love letter in her hand, and said, ' 'I received this love letter from a man who loves me dearly. Whoever he is, I stand here ready to accept his confession of love for me. ''
Hearing this, the man sitting among the assembly was too embarrassed to stand up, knowing well of his improper intentions as a cultivator, not to mention admitting it before everyone.

The master then spoke 'Indeed, shouldn't love be a honest and open expression?' After this incident, the man showed due respect to the female cultivator and never dared bring up such issues to her again.


This story teaches us not to take love too lightly, because at many a times we too easily say or think that we are willing to give the best of our love to someone, while in actual fact, we are more concerned about our pride and are merely driven by the temporary heat of our desires. Unbiased compassion is the noblest love of all.



Emotions are the prime drivers of our concentration in our daily lives, and not just that, it also sets the motivation in our lives. While the positive or I would prefer to use the word, healthy ones can enliven new energy of joy and hope in a person, the unhealthy ones can put one into total distress and confusion in life.

Of all the powerful emotions like anger, jealousy and greed, lust is perhaps the most commonly troubling and intense of all. Though lust comes in many forms of sensual indulgences, the lusting for luxuries, the lusting for money etc. The lust here mainly refers to the lusting for sexuality.

Even though this emotion is present in all genders, males tend to have a stronger affliction in general, so much so that this emotion has begun to develop into a norm within the world of the guys. Examples include watching pornography materials, hitting on beautiful girls, and talking dirty jokes with their friends.

From a truthful standpoint, despite the lust for sexuality is a natural instinct, it should not be taken for granted and allowed to strive without discipline.

Why? Because:

• Lust is a need without destination, an increasing debt that can never be settled. It starts small, and turns ever bigger, like a person who borrows more money from new creditors to settle old ones.
• It destroys faith and respect among people, turning love into hate, lovers into enemies and promises to deceit.
• It causes the spread of sexuality transmitted diseases.
• What seems to be mere pleasures for man, can cause undesirable consequence and burden to woman in case of unintended pregnancy.
• Much as it causes hurt to others, lust torments the host most, within every instant of every day. Lust causes the mind to lose focus and a grand direction, as the mind becomes manipulated and troubled easily, losing the inner peace of the mind where one can stay constantly happy and at peace.

The solution?

Don't even think about it!

This is the first and simplest solution. Many lustful thoughts come in the spur of moments, that we find them in our heads even before we even decide to let them in. If so, don't let it develop! Let it end there. Delete. Period.

Everyone can do that, the question is whether a person would want to do that. In most cases, the answer is no. Asking this gives one the tendency to go further with that thought.

''No one knows or sees what I think, why should I care? Everyone is doing it.''

Though these words might take a person off the issue of embarassment and self reproach, it is the first step for a person to become the slave of his own lust, and many more unwholesome thoughts to come, that in time, he would find them hard to eradicate even if he wants to.

Other solutions:

• Surround yourself with friends and people who have a bigger and noble mission in life. Nurture your habits and speech with these people as a way to broaden your mind of the world and life outside the tiny house of lust.
• Make friends with the opposite gender to understand their thoughts and characters more.
• Keep yourself busy with work, a hobby or something you like to do. Adequate stress is also good in keeping your mind focused and away from lust.
• Read stories and excerpts from philosophical books to inspire yourself.
• Go out for a tedious exercise regime to refresh your mind and body.

Meditation Zen

There once was a story about a group of monks who meditated every day hoping to attain a certain level of mind cultivation, and obtain inner peace.

One day, a zen master visited the temple and entered the meditation room where the group of monks sat in meditation. Silence is mandatory in the meditation room, thus talking is not allowed.

Soon, a gust of wind blew into the room and put out one of the candles. Then the monk sitting before the candle spoke 'Ah..The candlelight is put out.'
In dismay at the monk who broke the silence, another monk beside him said 'Hey, why did you break the silence?'
Then another monk heard them, and said 'Talking is not allowed here.'
The three monks all looked at one another in embarassment that they all talked and broke the rule.
Alas the fourth monk smiled, whispering 'Luckily I didn't talk.' The other monks all looked at him at once.

Then the Zen master, who kept silence all along, started brushing a brick in his hand against the table. All the monks were puzzled at the Zen Master's action, so one of them asked what is he trying to do?

The Zen Master replied calmly, 'May I ask what are you doing then?'

The monk proudly answered, 'We are meditating to attain inner peace.'

So the Zen Master spoke, 'I see. As for me, I am trying to polish this brick into a mirror.'

'My my, how can you turn a brick into a mirror? That's simply impossible!' The monk commented.

'Indeed, if so, how can you attain inner peace by merely sitting in meditation?' The Zen Master asked.

The group of monks started pondering at the question, and one of them initiated to ask, 'Then how can one attain inner peace?'

'You should start from the root.'

'What does the root mean?'

'The heart.' The Zen Master continued, 'You must understand that all disturbances and troubles of the mind stem solely from one's heart. All good and evil arise from the heart. And meditation is not defined by sitting or standing poses. Failing to understand this basic law, and choosing only to practice by superficial methods will only be a waste of time, just like rubbing a brick and hoping it to become a mirror.'

Hearing the Zen Master's advice, the group of monks finally understood the deep meaning of Zen Meditation and deeply expressed shame and remorse about their earlier ignorance.

From this simple story, one should understand that the foundation of meditation lies in the very heart and wisdom of the meditator. And meditation is not bound by specific poses. As long as one sees and understands the need to behold a clear mind, to detach from relentless frustrations and indulgences, meditation would have already occured. Be it during a bus ride, standing in the afternoon breeze, and even listening to a certain music, meditation can take form.

Thus is the wondrous nature of the mind as well as Zen, without a definite boundary, only revealing to those who truly seek to unravel the root of the mind through constant mindful observation and diligent cultivation.

Love and relationships

In life, some people have wonderful love relationships, but some people can only dream about the feeling of being with the man/woman they love. Some people meet their love early in life, while many others spend their entire life searching for their Mr/Mrs Right.

But whoever you are or whichever category you fall within, there is hardly a perfect love relationship without dispute, arguments, sorrow or regret. People who have been in relationships sometimes fear to find love again, while those who have never been in a relationship yearn for one.
To be happy in love, first you have to know some basic things about your perception of love.

What do you seek in love?
Do you wish for love because you are lonely in life or is it because marriage and family is a mandatory process of life for you?
Are you just thirsting for a short term love sensation or a life long mutual companionship?


What kind of a person are you?
What is your character and habits like? What kind of people do you get along well with? Are you a receiver or a giver most of the time?


What is your philosophy of life?
It is crucial to know yourself first before you try to understand others. What do you pursue in life? What are your values and principles?


After you ask these questions to yourself, try to apply them the same way to your partner. The differences between you and your partner should not be too drastic. Ask yourself what are the differences you are willing to accommodate and accept. Hence, be honest with your answers. The more you consider these issues, the more you will feel how heavy a commitment love truly is and how much insights it involves.

Love can bind, but don't get chained in love.

If you feel that things aren't working out with your partner, or you are suffering from a serious lack of appreciation and concern, it is time to let go and move on with life. In life, We make mistakes. We choose the wrong people, it's natural because we tend to fall for looks and empty promises at the start.
We always hope and and assume things will go the right way, and thus we ignore the possibility that it will go the wrong way. Love is like a investment. We cannot guarantee what we invest will earn us money in the end, but we can at least do some research to choose the most suitable investment for ourselves. Whatever the outcome, we should accept and learn from it.

The fault may not always lie with the other party, but with our expectations of love. If one can break free from his/her former expectations of love, then he/she may see a bigger and different happiness in love and life itself.


Love is a complicated emotion, and emotions fluctuate and change with experience and time. And because love revolve around humans, no partner is perfect.

While love doesn't always lead to fruition, it can make us see ourselves better.

For anyone who reads this, getting over a failed relationship can be extremely painful. At such times, look to your best friends and family. Tell them how you feel. But remember, you are the only one who decide if you want to be stronger or weaker. If you have any questions or think that no one understands you, you may want to drop me an email at alv_legacy@yahoo.com to share your story and thoughts.

The Joy Of Life

In life, people often define the joy of life in luxurious pleasures and extravagant indulgences formed through abstractions. Like playing video games, shopping, watching a movie with friends or beloved, savoring a delicious dish. these activities and pastime become so common nowadays that we take them for granted, and without question, we take them as the joy of life.

To meet this definition of ideal lifestyle, Man relentlessly develops more extravagant cities which provide luxurious living, and the cost of living thus escalates ever on. With this idea hence, people crave over the thing called money. Only with money can we have access to these indulgences and pleasures. This is the joy of life as most people know it, the goal in life until the day they die.

But we have forgotten, or are ignorant to the fact that our hunger and thirst for pleasures is like a forest fire. The more wood it is fed, the stronger it burns. And when fed without discretion, it can spread and burn the whole forest down. In a person's case, his desires and inner dependance for sensual pleasures can become throw his mind and life into chaos and frustration.


Those who have experience this will agree. It is important to say here that I do not speak theoratically because I for one, has been there before. The feeling when the immense joy in life suddenly turns into unbearable sorrow and utter despair and hopelessness.

This is the crude truth, one that we shouldn't be ignore or be hoping that it will never happen to us. There are always two sides to a coin, one being joy, the other despair. But understand however, the two sides are of the same coin. It only becomes two sides when we perceive only a half of the coin, an incomplete perception.


In life, it is the same. We look to external means and possessions to shelter our needs but do not see the truth that we are the architects of our happiness, not the external means that we claim to give us happiness. Everything we encounter in every instance of everyday is all part of the reflections, the perception of our minds.

External things don't give out joy or sorrow, they exist under the encompassing law of nature, but it is the mind that joy and sorrow live and vanish. Not knowing this fact is like saying that a coin(life) only has 1 side(joy), or taking a flat drawing/image(pleasures) of a coin as the real coin(life).

In general, the joy of life, no matter how intense and fulfilling, cannot be reliable through fleeting external pleasures. It can only be found from understanding the true states of the things around you, by opening our mind to see the lives, feelings and needs of others. But doing this takes a lot of compassion and courage, as we learn to challenge our past habits and addictions in order to break free and see the whole picture, the whole coin.

Social Stress and Its Impact

In life, hardly anyone can live alone. Especially in stressful modern day society, people look to friends, family and/or their beloved for motivational support and encouragement. Friends and acquiantances are easy to find, but true friends who understand our inner voices are hard to come by.



Most people live surrounded by friends who get together to have fun, to enjoy and drink their hearts out. But why is it that people need friends? Are people friends because they truly care about one another? In most cases, it is the fear of lonliness, the helplessness of isolation that people look to friends. They fear to be outcast, to be alone and seen as individuals who are weird and unaccepted by the common crowd. Indeed, friends can be the pillar of our confidence, yet conforming too much to our friends' opinions and lifestyles can also be a sign of our lack of confidence.

One common issue related to social stress is peer pressure. It is the insecurity of the mind telling us that we need to be like the majority to be accepted. Some aspects include the topics we talk about, the enthusiasm we show, the way we dress, our opinions towards certain things etc. The stronger the likeness of these aspects we share with the people around us, the more secured and confident we feel in our social life.

Thinking on this line too much causes us to forget who we really are and disregard the value of friendship for it becomes no more than an external shell for our recognition by the society. Some people even make use of friends for own benefits rather than treasure them as friends.



But this does not rid people of the fear that they need social recognition to be confident. Many times we are one person when we are with friends, while another when we are alone. It is when one is alone that he/she shows his/her true personality and colors. If you agree with this too, that means you are truly comfortable when you are alone, because that is the only time you return to yourself, a state where pretence is not needed, when you can safely take off your mask and act how you naturally act.

It is this side that the common crowd finds hard to accept. We know this, although we are unhappy with it, we have learn to accept the fact that there's nothing we can do to change it. This is how society works and those who are not in, are out. It's strange to say we are unhappy with this yet meanwhile some of us would penalize those whose behaviors, speech or opinions seem unfitting to the common crowd of the society.



If one can quiet down and think it through, isn't that the way each of us had wanted to be? To be honest to ourselves, but for our fear of trading this honesty with the social acceptance that we are so comfortable with, we chose to hide our true feelings at most times. Thus why should we judge or discriminate those who are honest enough to show who they really are?

One reason I realize when I look deep within myself, was because deep within me, there is a part that wishes for differences between people to exist, even though I myself am a victim of prejudice caused by these differences.

I believe I am not the only one, after observing the situation of friends and even strangers around me, and also through talking with them. If we want the society to accept us, we should accept others too, no matter how awkward they may look, act, speak or behave. After all, it is the character that truly matters, and people who with honest and truthful characters are true friends indeed, people whom in their company, make us realize what real confidence should be.

Are Religions True or False?

Since ancient times, religions have marked their footsteps on our societies. Nowadays, many of the most fascinating ideas we hear or read about originate in some ways or another from the marvellous teachings of religions. In our time where the field of science study impacts heavily on our lifestyles, religions gradually begin to lose their credibility as skeptics try to verify the consistencies of their teachings.

As modern technology advances, people's reliance and beliefs on them grew tremendously, so much so that they no longer see the values of religious teachings, and feel that religions are nothing more than mere motivations and consolations one seeks to tide himself through hard times.

Thus the line is drawn, between believers and free thinkers. But even religions themselves do not stand on the same point of view. Each and every one of them, seems to convey teachings of a different nature that sometimes conflict with one another, arising to arguments and disputes and even wars which cost the lives of millions throughout history as followers try to follow or prove their individual religions' validity and absolution of rule.

How sad is such a case when religions in the first place are meant for the good of Man? But because of Man's stubborn ego and arrogance, even religions are changed, and the very heart of their teachings is ever fading with time. In other words, a single religion can be perceived differently by followers simply because of the different point of views.

Of all these differences between points of views and conflicting teachings, I realize one simple truth- The choice of one's religion reflects a person's nature of his mind, or in simpler terms, the way he sees things.

Note that the religion meant here is not limited to founded religions with a specific doctrine or founder e.g. Buddhism, Christanity or Taosim etc, but rather the philosophies or beliefs a person honors and follows in life. With this concept, money, status and selfishness are also religions in nature, as long as one sees them as the main source and motive that define their purpose in life, not necessarily the common religions many perceive to be.

Some of my friends who are free thinkers would sometimes question if there really is a God? Or is there life after death? Or which religion is speaking the truth? Whenever discussions of these issues began, arguments often follow in an endless loop.
Instead of asking which one is the right religion, it would be wiser to question which teachings are beneficial and true to the original principle that the Founder himself meant to convey, or which teachings are the true words of the Founder. Of most widespread religions in the world, despite the contrasts between them, they all convey two common major factors- Compassion and Wisdom. These two values pave the very foundation of all pure religions.

As most religions are passed down through the ages, much of their original contents have been modified and changed by various schools of followers. One began to branch into two, two into four, and so on.

With this fact in mind, imagine the misconception that would incur on millions of people if their knowledge of a particular religion and its teachings are taught by a preacher who in the first place have interpreted the teachings wrongly. Due to his mistaken interpretation, his listeners and followers of the same faith began to stray even further from the original meaning of the teachings.

This is similar to the analogy of someone intending to show his friend what stars are by pointing at the stars in the sky, but his friend who is looking at his index finger mistakes his finger as the stars. In turn, he goes around to spread word that the index finger is the stars. In reality, the stars refer to the heart of religious teachings, while the finger refers to the erroneous understanding and concepts people have developed for religions.

Thus, if one wants to understand the right path, he should study religions with wisdom and humility. Polishing one's intelligence is important, but it is one's wisdom of handling situations and speech, that touches people and brings people to contentment, understanding and bliss. Not how well one scores in his studies, or how one excels in his career.

But if one were to truly study and grasp the meaning of the core teachings of religions, one can indeed rejoice in the fruits from such understanding. Like science studies educating people on the logic of the universe's workings, religions are aimed to guide people to happiness. Though one may argue that religions tend to include places, theories of afterlife, beings or spirits that clash with the field of science study, these are issues we should not be too indulged in. Rather, it is the most basics one should try to master e.g. compassion, self improvement and wisdom in living. One can spend his lifetime memorizing the entire bible but still doesn't feel and see it's true meaning. In contrary, if one can truly understanding the deep meaning of a single teaching, he would have attained the true heart of the religion.

History has proven through wars and suffering that humans' stubborn ego, hatred and discrimination of one another are the biggest enemies in life. So finally, are religions real or false? To answer this, look deep into your self and ask- What is your own religion, your beliefs in life? Is it money? Is it sensual enjoyment? Is it self accomplishment etc...? How real or false are they?

Ego- The Root of the Mind

Ego determines how we see and define things in daily life. It is the nature of our perceptions and totally unique from one another like DNA.

If ego is the Root of the mind, then our five senses(sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell) would be the Bark, Branches and Leaves and our emotions/thoughts would be the Fruits.


Like the roots that absorbs nutrients and grows into bark and branches, our ego moulds the world that forms from our senses. Thus even though many of us have eyes, nose and other organs of the five senses functioning similarly, the way we perceive a sight, a smell or sound differs from one another.
Some of us are drawn to classical music while some others are more inspired by up-tempo pop music.

And too like the fruits that decorate and define the type of a tree, our emotions/thoughts form our existences and the type of person we are in life. But no matter how beautiful a fruit may flourish, it's beauty will never outlast the life of its root.

However, the ego is an underlying force like the roots of a tree that lies hidden beneath the ground.
Very few people can detect it, and nearly none find it. People are mostly only aware of the 2nd and 3rd layers, being the senses and the emotions/thoughts. And it is not a surprise to know that many in fact are bleaskly aware of the 2nd layer, which is the senses. They are so tied to their fleeting emotions and thoughts that they act mainly on those bases. Running and running, driven by their fleeting emotions/thoughts, their minds become restless and ravenous.


For those of us who feel lost in life, do not be ashamed or feel that you are lonely. As mentioned, you are a wise traveler who has stopped to regain your bearings, compared to the majority who waste unnecessary energy running about without a clue.

The reason you are feeling lost is because you are beginning to see past your fleeting emotions/thoughts and feel that they are an endless loop that only leads you back and forth.

You may sometimes envy those people who are happy in life. Their happiness in general results from their appeased ego. Ego is 'I', the 'who' you define yourself as. That is why I feel happy when I am appreciated, when I do something and become known for my efforts, become justified for who and how I want others to see me, all that fulfilment.

In principle, the ego can never be satisfied, because the eye of the ego is biased and ignorant. While ego gives us abundant fulfilment when situations come into terms with it, it also heightens our fear of falling outside its demands. Like a person who adores trends, he shows respect and admiration to those who talk, dress and act trendy and upbeat, while at the same time he fears the embarassment of being seen as an offbeat or boring person and will even feel disgust or uneasiness in the company of such people.


A common advice I get to find purpose in life is to focus your mind on something, be it an ambition, a prospect, or a commitment. Once the mind finds something to feed his ego, he will feel energized and motivated in life.
This is absolutely true, but these are only external means which soften the pain of a patient and not cure the disease entirely. Despite there are people whose life change for the better and remain that way after finding ways to keep themselves motivated in life with external means, the ultimate solution lies in the understanding of your self .

Nevertheless, these external means are good starting points.

For we are ever conscious of and living at the 3rd level of the mind, which is the emotions/thoughts level, it takes an extreme effort and deep reflection to return to the deeper and initial levels of the senses and ultimately the ego.

In one of the upcoming posts, we shall touch deeper on how we can live a more fruitful life and the appropriate way back to our origins by slowly unraveling the 3 levels of the mind in hierarchy.

A Purpose In Life

What is the purpose of life? Why am I here? Why do I feel lost in life no matter how much I try to motivate myself? These are the most common questions asked about the meaning of life and our existence in this world.

I am not sure how many have felt this way, but for me, it has been more than once that I feel lost and aimless in life. Only recently I was surfing online and happened to come across similar issues faced by different people, issues of feeling lost in life.

I first got this feeling many years ago, and though I couldn't quite recall exactly what caused me to think so, one thing I am sure was that this feeling happened whenever I started to see the repeated and tedious pattern of my life, one that I am perpetually trapped in doing things I dislike without much motivation.

When I read the online post of a girl who shared her similar feelings in life, I noticed something interesting about her accounts.

She was a girl who regarded her life wonderful, having a good husband, a good mother and a job that pays fairly well. Yet she felt lost in life and wasn't really happy. Her case was quite a special one because most people who felt this way tend to be less well equipped with the worldly possessions such as love, money and career. From this case, and many others perhaps, I realize that this feeling of being lost in life troubles not only the poor and less fortunate in their pursuits in life.



So exactly what is the cause for this feeling? This is what I gather after much thought into this matter. In a simple analogy, people who have this feeling is like a lost traveler in the woods who finally decided to stop wandering and regain his bearings. He feels no matter how far and long he went on, it would only be a waste of energy walking in circles. Yes, the key words here are walking in circles. But when applied to life, it doesn't literally refer to the physical body doing so, but instead it refers to our feeling of existence determined by our ego, which I like to call the Root of the mind.



Ego is who we think we are. But often people mistake the ego as worldly identity. In life, we are given names and we know ourselves from what we are called e.g. Lucy or John. We tend to perceive ourselves as the face and body we are born with.

Thus this physique together with a given name is taken as the self, hence our every motivation in life is driven towards the benefits and requirements of this self e.g. to live in a comfortable house, to look beautiful and feel wanted, to achieve in profession or career and be known for what we have done.

On the other end, recognizing the self as our physique and name means we are bound to the perception and opinions of our external appearances, our achievements, and our backgrounds. Some of these, such as achievements are changeable, while some like appearance, family background are not. (though appearances can be changed through surgery, it is still not a method everyone is comfortable or able to seek.)

From both ends, we have happiness and sadness as a result of taking our physique and social status as the self. Thus many say that the world is unfair as people are treated differently according to their status and appearance. Truly, this is the case, but that does not change the fact who we really are, that does not change the source of our existence.


The self is not the face, the body, or who we are in society. So then, who am I?


Now comes the interesting part. The main concept involved here is owner and assets. Owner simply means the person who owns and assets are the things he owns. Pretty simple. An owner has the right to do what he wants with his assets, to keep or trade them for other assets. Overtime, his assets can change, from more to less or vice versa, or from a car to a store etc. But regardless of the comings and goings of his assets, the owner is always there, and he will hold the ever-present ability to own something as long as he exists, even if all his assets are depleted. The key fact here is the owner is not his assets, and does not deplete with them, but only rely on them to justify his own existence.

Understanding this relation between owner and asset, now let's go back to the statement- the self is not the face, the body, or who we are in society. So then, who am I?
People tend to take his/her face, body, emotions and thoughts as the self, but in fact these are only the assets.
Why do I say so?

For instance, when we say things like 'My head is spinning', or 'my body is aching', or 'Ouch, stop hitting my arm!', what is the common character that appears in all three sentences? The answer is 'my', the 'owner', the real us, while head, body and arm in these cases are all 'assets', or literally temporary ideas.

Do you get the picture?

If not, think of it this way, if my body is me, then why is there a need to say 'my' before it? Wouldn't that mean something like 'My my is aching' when we say 'my body is aching'? Instead, I could have just say 'body' alone. If that's the case, people will go around replacing 'I am sad' with 'Body is sad, or 'I had a wonderful meal with my girlfriend' with 'Body had a wonderful meal with body's girlfriend.' Similar examples apply to the cases if we were to say that emotions/thoughts or social standing is us.

'My' is the owner aka the real self, who we really are. Thus, 'my life', 'my career', 'my mind' also falls within this same principle, the former being the ever- present owner and the latter being the assets that come and go.

By mistaking the assets as the owner, we perceive the body as our self, we perceive our social standing as our self, we perceive our emotions/thoughts as our self. Thinking so, we are limited to what these assets can do, forgetting totally about the true almighty owner within each and every one of us, which lies as the deep meaning within this single concept-My.

So the single concept that lies in 'My' is who I am, the source of every one's existence.

But this is not the end, but only the beginning of the mystery. Knowing the truth that who I am lies in the concept 'My' is only a crucial lead to realizing who we are. It is like the police who have just obtained the data and particulars of a target, which will ease his search and put him in the right direction to locating the actual target.


In our case, it is to locate our true self, the root of our minds. This is the ultimate purpose of life, for how can an owner utilize his assets if he does not know that they belong to him? When a person begins to understand his own self, the underlying cause behind the way he judges and sees things, he will find peace in life, shape his own mind, feel in line with people and happenings in life, and his feeling of lost and incompleteness in life will gradually dissipate.

Indulgence- The Mind's Destinations

If a person's life is lived for his goals and dreams, then a person's day is lived for his indulgence. Indulgence is basically experiences that one's mind delights in. To indulge in a favourite food, in the company of friends or beloved, a piece of music or a movie.

It is the moment in time that one looks forward to everyday. That explains why working adults look forward to the end of the working day, to the 5 or 6pm, when they can return to their personal lives to do unbounded by time what they want to do, where they want to go, and who they want to be with. Apply this concept to school life, and students are not that different too.


Living in this fastpacing modern society, people tend to work long hours and spend most of their time and energy at work, and with the little remaining on their own matters and leisures. This scarce time includes the those spent on bathing, meals, household chores, and sleep. If you think about it, how little time we have to do the things we want.

Before we know it, bedtime would have come and the next minute we would be waking in shock and reluctance to return to the same routine setting for another 8 to 9 hours.


How sad is such a life...but many times we have no choice because we need a stable income to survive and use it for whatever we want. There comes a time where some people get tired of such a cycle, and they would compromise certain activities to buy more time for their leisures.

They would eat quickly, hurry from place to place, sleep very little etc just to reach their mind destinations faster so as to allow more time for their indulgences. This kind of lifestyle, when persisted over a period of time, will definitely affect one's well being of mind and body.



If one would to carefully think it through, he may realize that the problem does not entirely lie with the time he cant control(working hours), but with the time he can control(leisure hours).

Why?

Because when we become too indulgent in what we enjoy, our mind will develop the habit of ignoring other matters out of this respect. We will keep looking forward to these mind destinations to immerse our minds.

When one becomes too binded by his own indulgences, he might even shirk his chores and responsibilities, thus affecting his family and loved ones in his life. A one man's problem in turn multiplies into others' problems.


All in nature seeks balance, so does the mind. One should know best not to be overwhelmed by his own indulgences.



To live and appreciate the present moment is the true essence of life.

It is the only moment we exist, and the only time we live to do that which can change our and others' lives. A person's life lies in his current breath. Mind destinations are not definite and not the ultimate home for the mind. They are only relative to one's indulgences and does not have any true or definite meaning. Take vehicles on the road for instance, everyday we see buses, cars and trains traveling to and fro, transporting passengers to their different destinations. These destinations are everywhere, one person's start could be another's destination.

Places like streets, buildings, and harbor are in essence one with the earth and are never destinations or starting points to start with. When a person migrates to another country, he will stop taking the usual roads he used to take to go to his office, the mall and his house in his former country. Hence, all these previous so called destinations of his life prior to his migration will vanish, and cease to exist.

Every morning, instead of waking with a frantic mind that is already thinking of work even before we leave our doorstep, we should open our mind, our senses to be aware of our surroundings.


Breathe in the air steadily, see the waving trees, feel the soft breeze cool your skin. Understand that your indulgences, your mind destinations of everyday are never separate from the present moment, but are all residues of your senses.

Finding True Love

Love- a most common theme in romance movies and drama, and a vital element of our lives. The love discussed here mainly refers to passionate love between couples. It's the infatuation that have you thinking about the one you love, that made every word he or she says matters so much to you, that made your entire world suddenly seem more exciting and purposeful. Yes, it's a bit cliche but it's true when you fall in love.

Love can truly change a person and his/her life drastically, for the better or worse. For love is such a powerful emotion that affect us so greatly, it is most insightful and fruitful perhaps that we spend some time to ask the question of 'Is love reliable?'



A Honest Look At Love

In life, we would have at least fallen in love once, if not several times. When we felt a crush for someone at school, a celebrity on TV or anyone around us. Naturally, we wish to be with that person whom we love.

Indeed, love can be the greatest feeling in life, to be loved by the person we love. Love sets motivation and purpose in our lives, and for that someone, we are even willing to compromise our own joy to see him/her happy. But sadly, not all of us can be with the one we love, no matter how much that person means to us, we might mean the least to them.

True indeed that we have to fight to get what we want, but of all things, love can be a drastic exception. The simple reason is love and attraction is natural, and cannot be forced. To stubbornly oppose this truth, one could exert great misery upon both parties.

However, not all sadness comes from the situation of a one sided love. There are many who go into a relationship only to realize that the path of love is not as happy as they expected. The once passionate and flaring emotion for our beloved begins to wane overtime. That explains the high numbers of broken relationship resulting in break ups or divorces.



Is Love Superficial Or Noble?

In many cases, love is very often based on superficial appearance. People love people with good looks, although beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, it is still the truth that one loves the person who he/she defines as beautiful or appealing.

When we rely on abstractions like this, in this case, one's exterior beauty, there can be no stability. Who's to ensure that he/she would always be as ravishing as the state of her which you fell in love with?

Perhaps that is why dating is the best stage of love, when everything about that someone you love is so new and mysterious. There are simply too many things to share with him/her. But this suspense of love eventually runs out with time, and the initial cause of attraction grows thin. Pretty much like how the colors of one's youth drying with time, love is not too far an example. Worse still, when you start to discover shortcomings and negative personality traits of him/her you never realize before.



How Much Do I Love My Beloved?

Love is selfish, a rather common match of two contradicting words, or maybe not. Regardless of the great reluctance to agree with this statement, there's little choice but to accept this fact. No matter how unconditional we think love can be, it is still within the condition set by our ego's ideals. Because of our ego, we stick to our own opinions and perspectives, and leads to arguments and misunderstanding in life.


Love is no different, and should I say more intense in this aspect, for we expect our beloved, more than anyone, to understand us, to agree with us. And when they do something that contradicts us, it hurts our ego, and we feel angry and annoyed. This anger, if not handled carefully, drives us to conduct hurtful actions to our beloved without much hesitation or question, much like the initial spark of love that started all this.


All this comes down to the fact that 'I love myself the most.' Yes. The moment of truth, an invisible notion that runs deep in our mind long before you found that someone you love. Before love, self already exists. Our beloved's attraction and grace are merely sensual indulgence that fulfills the self's conditions, but that is not the true person we fell in love with, for beyond this selfish indulgence, is another mind with his/her unique feelings and emotions, and just like you, he/she has an ego and ideals too.



How To Make A Relationship Last?

Do note however that there is no rigid right or wrong with falling in love through superficial means, but that should not be the main source of reliance to stay the love and relationship in the long run. Instead, love her by who she is, by her intentions. Touch your beloved with forgiveness and understanding. Many times, the constant enemy in love is our self indulgence, causing us to speak more than listen, to influence more than to learn. Love is a great prize of happiness, and it is enjoyed through constant foregoing of your ego and pride. If a person cannot do this for anyone, then he/she would be happy with no one.

*The frustration caused by ego/pride is like our own shadow, it follows us to whenever we go, to whoever we are with.*

Abstractions- The Flow of Yin and Yang

There is a saying in Chinese:

''A mountain can be easily reformed, but not its nature.''

Today, this phrase is commonly used to explain how a person can never change his true character, similar to the phrase, 'A tiger can never change it's stripes.'

But in fact there is a better and deeper true meaning to this phrase. And it is to define abstractions, which would be touched later in this post.

As we know, mountains are formed overtime as the earth's plates from opposite sides collide and rub against each other. This tremendous force pushes the crust up vertically, resulting in an accumulated elevation of the earth which we distinguish as a mountain.

It is often natural when a traveler passes by such a landscape, his attention would fall on the looming mountain against the horizon. Some mountains would even be named due to their unique forms or heights, or become tourist attractions. But no matter how famous the mountain become, it still shares the nature of the earth which it was upheaved.

Even so, most people's attention fall first on the mountains rather than the earth where it emerged from. If we investigate at the modern fancies of today e.g. fashion, cars, or special effects, and study them in the same way, we will see a different light to them.

In the case of a fashion wear, the fashion wear would be the 'mountain' while the materials of the wear would be the 'earth'. As we know, only through careful craftsmanship and design concept, an appealing fashion wear would be created, and in turn admired, craved over and even worshipped as a breakthrough in fashion trend.

From the raw materials to the final dress, the materials' nature doesn't change. Silk is still silk, cotton is still cotton. If the dress would to be put through a shredder and emerges in scattered threads, would people's like for it still remain the same? Would they still see it as a remarkable fashion wear? No. Why? Because the definition of the so called remarkable fashion wear is only an abstraction of the people's minds, and abstractions are not truth, but reflected images of our own perceptions.

What is Abstractions? They are our impressions of the world shaped by perception through our senses. It is that beautiful girl or dashing guy we see, it is that artwork masterpiece we admire, it is that delusive line that separates higher and lower class people by means of social status/abilities. In general, it is the reflected image of our shrouded mind. Beautiful and ugly, good and bad, rich and poor are all reflections caused by our blinded minds, and these reflections form the world we see everyday.

Everyday, we see people around us, both strangers or friends on the trains or along the streets. Logically, in daytime, the people and things we see are reflected light rays from the sun off the various objects around us. We see our friends and beloved as these light rays that bounce off their bodies and reach our eyes. If so, can we say that we are seeing them? If we say so, we would agree that these reflected light rays are our friends and beloved. If this is true, they would turn darker when night falls and even vanish when we switch off all the lights in our room during bedtime.

But we know this is not true.

No matter how the lighting conditions change, our friends and beloved do not transform with it. They are still themselves, both in body and personality. But yet, we claim we see people as stylish, sloppy, or pretty when all we see are reflected light rays quite similar to those from television and monitor screens which are not the real them.

The clearer one's mind is, the weaker the hold of abstraction would have on his mind. Such a person would be more at peace with his life. When one admires too much of beauty, one easily becomes superficial and vain, and the difference of beauty and ugliness, respectable and despised would become greater. Even for those whose mind are heavily shrouded by abstractions, many of them do not become arrogant because of a compassionate heart for those less desirable than themselves. But still, they are never truly free from the idea, and will still be troubled by such issues.

Through abstractions, we judge matters and people, and we in turn are judged by others too. Over the decades, Man have carved breakthroughs and advancements in beauty, fashion, cars, luxury living etc. Through this, more differences and standards emerge.

At this pace, it is without a doubt that the bar would be pushed even higher in the future.

Like a tower that builds ever higher, and people are always trying to climb up to the top. The stronger ones beat the weaker ones, but they themselves struggle too under the force of gravity as they get higher.

But no matter how high they climb, the tower is still built on the earth below, and when the earth shakes, the stronger ones fall hard to the ground along with the crumbling tower.

Zen- Mind over Matter

No matter how the landscapes and architectures of the world changes, unhappiness would always linger in the world of Man. This unhappiness is not the work of trees, not the work of mountains, or anything that has long existed before us.


This unhappiness comes from our minds. Yes, because of the mind, 'we' exist, along with the 'world' within it. Through our different perceptions, each of our world takes on a different look and hence formed our reality.


For example, a person who grew up in a broken family would most likely take on a more pessimistic view of the world and life than someone from a nurtured family because of the different experiences they have. The two of them might live on the extreme ends of the world and not know the existences of each other, but their lives are still bound by the inner states of their minds.

Suppose the both of them were to write down their life accounts on their own diaries. And one day, a child, curious to know more about life, finds both diaries and reads them. In this case, which story should he trust to be his life in future? Should it be the pessimist's or the optimist's account?


None of the two would be the absolute answer, for no one's thinking and philosophy is exactly the same, not to mention the events we would face in life, the paths we would walk, the people we would meet, and the choices we would make. Then again, there are always a lot of things to be learnt from others' experiences, but we must always understand that the problems and solutions in our individual lives are special and different from others.


Thus, only we can bring a stop to our own unhappiness because our own mind is our true teacher. The way of zen is to master our mind, the culprit for nearly all of our sorrow and despair in life.

Meaning of Rich

To be rich is what many people want. Rich is a word that flashed piles of cash in people's minds, or numerous digit places in their bank account.

Yet the word 'rich' has more general meanings in the dictionary, a meaning of great worth, value, or abundance, not necessarily always to do with money.


Following the concept of having money as rich, we can pretty much know that many see money as the thing that has the greatest worth and value. Why is it so?

Being rich simply means one can buy the goodies they want, travel and explore new places, raise one's stature and widen social circle and recognition. We want to be rich to indulge in luxury, sensual pleasures and extravagance.
For the less fortunate, getting rich is a way to liberate from the chains of poverty, to break free from the people and environment that they detest.

Having come from a not so well-to-do family myself, I live among neighbors of very similar financial standards. The lack of money not only limit how far we can travel, how big our rooms are, and how much we can eat.

More importantly and sadly, it can change a person as well.

Take my neighbor for example, we first knew each other when I was around 7 to 8 years old. He was 3 years younger than me. Whenever we returned from school, we would play with each other, and talked about everything under the sun.
His mother worked very hard everyday to make sure he wouldn't starve. Despite earning only $500 as monthly income, she would buy him his desired toy or game console just to see him happy.
But his father, however, wasn't as caring and hardworking as his wife.

Hoping to strike rich, he always took shortcuts and would spent constant sums on lotteries and alcohol. Some nights he would return home drunk and angry and yell at his wife whenever she brought up the money issue.
There were times he even threatened his wife with a knife, or beat her up. At such a young age, my neighbor would cry out loud in fear.


Many years later, his mother and him decided to put an end to this and eventually left the apartment secretly for good. After they left, the apartment was sealed months later due to outstanding rental fees that his husband had no ability to settle.
Since, his mental state deteriorated and some time later, rumors broke out that he passed away. Since, I lost contact with my neighbor and never saw him again.



This incident taught me one crucial lesson- Lack of understanding and greed can bring darker sorrow than merely the lack of money.

If only my neighbor's father would show more concern and work hard, even if his income was not very ideal, his wife and son would be more than contented. Because of his idleness, his wife's became angry easily for being unappreciated, and so their misunderstanding deepened without rest. From this case, and many happening today around us, we can witness the great damage of mishandled human emotions upon ourselves. Some say that money is the root of all evil, whereas in fact the culprits should be the uncontrolled greed and selfishness in us humans.

Reality- The False Image

In this world, people strive to be rich, to be attractive, to be loved, to be recognized, to be excited by thrills and external fascinations. Out of these, superficial beauty is a major topic. Because of beauty, people want to be rich, because of beauty, the world is made a more colourful and exciting place for us.

Whether it's the style in fashion, the spectacular CG graphics in movies or the beautiful celebrities' faces, people love them and are so attached to them, that they in time have become the norm of our daily society.

But beauty is not always as glamourous as it appears to be.

Let me sidetrack a bit and share a little of my story. Like most people, I used to study in primary and secondary schools before I go on to pursuing my digital media dream in polytechnic. But still, the most memorable times come from the school days, especially during later stage of primary school and secondary school.

I wasn't really an outspoken boy in nature, and naturally I wasn't very popular among the girls, and my friends were very limited but truthful. Maybe it was a blessing too. Observing from a quiet side, I realize how the good looking students were tormented by their own more appealing exterior. For girls, the abundant attention from the world made them more conscious of their exterior appearances. Aware and enjoying the attention, they would do their best to ensure their outlook is never compromised.

They soon become over indulgent on the admiration of others, and lose their mind lose stability easily simply because they depend too much on the opinions of others. But the lust of sight is not something reliable and often unforgiving.

Although being beautiful can really boost one's confidence, it can also arise insecurity in one's heart and mind and even cause one to lose direction once that beauty is affected.

In short, beauty and appearance are like a blurred glass blinding people from seeing one another's true being/existence. Today, most divorces and problems of love relationships stem from the oblivion of this truth.

Relating to this issue, there was this zen story I read, about a madman who existed during the time when the Buddha lived. According to the story, there was this man who fell in love with the reflection of his face in the mirror. But this greatly agonized him, for once he looked away from the mirror, his face would disappear from his sight. Anxiously, he would run around town asking people if anyone had seen his beloved face. And thus he was called the mad man in his town, for his face have always been with him, just that he couldn't see it because his eyes, being part of his face could never see it without a mirror. And for this reason, he was ignorant of the fact the reflection of his face was caused by his own head.

Back to the effects of beauty, many of us are actually very alike to this mad man in a psychological manner. We don't know that the source of happiness lies with how we see things. Unable to see this fact, we are so ready to place the responsibility of our happiness on these fleeting sensations and our accomplishments in life.


Due to the fast paced working life, we tend to forget this fact. But for the rest of the journey to finding happiness, this truth would be your key foundation and your crucial first step.

No Shortcuts to True Happiness

Yes, taking shortcuts would only result in temporary and unstable happiness. No matter how steady your means of happiness are, they are not invulnerable. Be it money, love, or accomplishments. Why? Because they are still in essence, based on external factors and conditions, just like the way 'terms and conditions apply' rule works in the business world. If you want a free TV or a certain privilege, you must be bound by a certain contract. There's always a price to be paid. In the case of one's reliance on temporary happiness, the price is despair or disappointment. Nevertheless, there are many who choose to ignore this fact, and indulge themselves in such luxuries as long as they can, like someone who rely on drugs to ease himself.

This is why I decided to set up this blog, so not only can I share my insights with anyone, more crucially, anyone can share their opinions and experiences with me and other readers of the site. Of all the advanced subjects, finding true happiness in life is by far the hardest, more challenging even than Maths and Science, merely because there are no clear formulas to instantly bring you to the shrouded goal called true happiness.

As you can see, I bolded the words above. ''no clear formulas''. But that does not mean there is no formula at all. As problems are defined according to the mind, so are the solutions.

Conclusion

Problems stem from ourselves, our minds, our demands and ideals. Always remember that. I believe that many people know this, but still, they couldn't put an end to their own troubles. Problems still bug them everyday. Because knowing isn't enough. We need to dig deep into our other mind, the part we have failed to understand and have long lost sight and control of it. Worse still, some people see that part of their minds as who they really are and let it control them, making them act rashly and commit things that cause much hurt to others as well as to themselves in the long run.

To everyone who is facing great pain and sorrow in life at this very second, pls do not give up. What you face is beyond anyone could express, I know, and there are even times when there's no one who seems to understand or pay attention to you. Hang in there.

No problem can outwin or outlast you because your mind and soul are never bound to these problems from the day you came into this world. They were born after you and thus should cease before you.

What is Happiness?

Before we answer this question, we should ask ourselves this question instead- What is unhappiness?

Yes, this truly is the case, because as long as we are unhappy about something, the way to happiness and the joy of life can never really be found.

So, what makes us unhappy? We are unhappy when we are unable to have the things we want, the experience we desire and crave. Let's say if this is the case, then let's start with a list of the most common and timelessly acclaimed factors that cause unhappiness in the modern society we live in. Also note that the stated examples are actual scenarios I have observed from real people around me.

1. Money- e.g. An average salaryman works 5 1/2 days a week to earn enough money for proper meals and bills to sustain his family. Even though he doesn't like his job, he leaves home for work early daily , returns late and exhausted at night. Overtime, he seeks pleasures in drinking and late night activities, and vents his anger on his helpless family at the slightest issues.
   
2. Love- e.g. A thoughtful girl who loves her boyfriend deeply feels he no longer understands and pampers her as much as he used to when they first started out dating. Their conversation topics thinned, and the simplest of questions from her would even annoy him sometimes. She sobbed in silence, and faced the dilemma whether she should leave or stay the relationship.
3. Social Stress- e.g. A girl, born with a generally less attractive exterior tries hard to blend in with the group. But no matter how hard she tries, the attention and favor of her friends naturally turn to her other better looking friends. Under their company, she begins to feel extremely left out and lonely.
   
4. Health- e.g. A young and happy family man suddenly became strickened with kidney failure. Day by day his strength fails and the pain worsens. To seek treatment, he spends more money and time at the hospital than with his own family. From an optimistic man, he became downcast and sees no purpose in life.

One may think that happiness varies from person to person, which is true. But in general, happiness can be categorized into 2 very broad types:

1. Happiness of Obtaining
2. Happiness of Foregoing

To start, let's look at the first kind- Happiness of Obtaining. This type of happiness is more intense, the type that most people seek and define to be the true meaning of happiness. It basically refers to the happiness of having something you want. Yet at the same time, it is also the mirror of intense unhappiness that weigh down many people today, leading to stress problems and in worse cases, depression and extreme anxiety. Simply put, it is the other side to Happiness gained from Obtaining.


The second type of happiness is rarer and harder to obtain, one that very few people can relate or understand. It is the happiness of letting go of your desires by thoroughly understanding their true underlying nature. This joy comes genuinely from your heart.